Am I the only person who feels like a good chunk of parenthood is apologizing for bizarre things? Ok, perhaps it is just me but I’ve been thinking about this phenomenon I’ve noticed. “I’m sorry..” or some variation thereof seems to come out of my mouth multiple times a day in relation to my life since becoming a parent. As a result, I’m putting my foot down! Here are Eight things I am done apologizing for:
1. The Status Of My House
“Come on in! Don’t mind the mess…” Come on ladies! How many times have you said something like this? “Sorry for the mess but check out this cute picture of my happy, healthy kid!” Fact check – five people live in my house. Three of those people are under 8 years old and we are all serial outfit changers. This means laundry. LOTS of laundry. It also means dishes. LOTS of dishes. Then you add in toys, pets, art supplies, my school supplies…even coming from a fairly minimalist person the mess is inevitable. My house is never going to be featured in a home magazine. My house is probably always going to have a clump of dog hair in strange places. I’m not scrubbing the baseboards for anyone – and guess what? I’m done apologizing for the way it is!
My kids are healthy and happy. They have clean clothes (even if they are piled in laundry baskets STILL waiting to be put away). I can see my floor and open and close all doors in my house. We eat on clean plates. From now on if you come over I’ll offer you food on whatever plates I have clean, I’ll let you sit on my couch comfortably, and I won’t stress if your kiddo drags toys everywhere because I am DONE apologizing for the state of my house.
2. My “Mom-Bun” Hair – Or Anything With My Appearance For That Matter
Mom hair. It’s a thing.
I love the days that I do my makeup, blow dry my hair to perfection, and shave my legs. LOVE IT! Yet the truth is my mom-bun piled on my head is functional. It keeps me cool on hot days. It survives while I push swings, slide down slides, and carry around my toddler on my hip. It is functional and I love it for that. I’m tired of going places and saying “Sorry I look like…” because the truth is I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry that I didn’t wear makeup today, I’m not sorry if my t-shirts and Keens aren’t dressy enough for you, I’m not sorry that my mom bun is SUPER FRIZZY. I’m not sorry and I’m going to stop pretending like I am because sometimes this look works for me and if I’m around you it should be good enough for you too.
3. Nursing My Child In Public
I’m out of the nursing phase these days BUT no women should have to apologize for feeding their child any time or any where. GET OVER IT! Let those babies eat because if they aren’t eating they might be screaming..which leads me to the next thing..
4. My Child Throwing A Fit In The Store
Now, don’t get me wrong..if my child has a melt down in the middle of your fancy wedding or at a nice restaurant where people are seeking a relaxing night or even in a movie theater..I’ll apologize but I AM NOT apologizing when my three year old lays herself down on the floor in the middle of Target and refuses to budge. I am NOT apologizing when my two year old screams like a banshee in the cart at Wal-Mart. Not that my kids would ever do that…. right?
I know. It’s annoying. I know that nobody likes to hear a kid having a melt down over mom not putting the marshmallow cereal in the cart (Again, my sweet angelic kids would never do this…).
I’ve read articles that say a good parent would abandon their cart, haul their kid to the car and have some sort of stern discussion about store behavior and then try again. Nope. Not happening. You see that means I’m not just hauling one kid to the car, it means I’m dragging three out. That means that the 20 minutes of shopping (OK, sometimes it is 5 minutes) that I accomplished was a waste. That means that I might not have anything to make for dinner that night for the two kids who aren’t throwing a fit that moment. So, instead, we are buckling in for the long haul and I’m not sorry. Kids throw fits in stores. We don’t love it, but they do. If it bothers you, please leave your cart mid-aisle and go to your car until you see us exit. Otherwise, exchange and understanding glance and pray we all make it out alive.
5. My Kids Wearing Mismatched Clothes
“Sorry they look homeless, they dressed themselves…” or “I know the two shoes don’t match but..” Here is the deal, I’m not sorry. I’m proud. I’m proud that my kid pulled on her purple shorts and neon orange tank top by herself. I don’t have the heart to tell her it is backwards and you shouldn’t either. I’m just glad we all made it out of the house to the park alive. I’m glad that my kid isn’t kicking on the floor in Wal-Mart. I’m glad we have mismatched clothes to wear. Until future notice my kids will probably look like colorblind and confused individuals who have no idea how clothing and weather correlate..but dang it they dressed themselves and I’m not sorry for that!
6. My Child Climbing Up The Slide At The Playground
Now, I know some of you might be feeling a little bristled over this. I didn’t say I wouldn’t apologize for my kid being a jerk at the park – I simply am not going to apologize for them going up the slide. Will I tell my child they have to give right of way to the kids coming down? You bet..but I don’t have the time or energy to stand there like the slide police while my child climbs up it and I definitely don’t have the time to feel sorry for them using the playground in a fun and beneficial way. Heck, research shows that climbing up the slide is actually good for our kids – check it out here. Besides some of the parks we played at this week wouldn’t be half as fun if my kids couldn’t climb the slide. There are so many rules to enforce in life, this is just one I’m taking a pass on!
7. Not Attending Your Adults Only Event
I completely understand the desire and even the need to have some events happen without children present. I respect it and honor it. That being said, I’m not going to apologize profusely if I can’t make it. I’ll respectfully decline but I’m not going to feel guilt that I can’t afford to use my limited sitter resources on the event or that I would rather be home with my child or that being around adults actually sounds more exhausting at the moment than being with the small humans who graciously fall asleep at 8 pm. Trust me, I’m glad I am invited and I want to be invited but the guilt of not being able to attend, isn’t going to rest on these shoulders any more.
8. Thinking That My Kid Is Fantastic Just For Being Themselves
For the sake of keeping it real, I probably think my kid is cooler than yours. If you are being honest, you probably feel quite differently about that. You know what? That’s OK! Our kids need someone to support them, to be their cheerleader, to love them when they well – suck, and to always see the bit of wonder they bring into this world. My kids can do absolutely nothing at all and I still find them to be breathtakingly fantastic and you know what? I’m not sorry about that. Not one bit.
Do you find yourself apologizing for things? What are you done being sorry for? What other things could we add to this list? Let me know if the comments!